A follow-up to “Honoring the Flow: The Bleed as Teacher” — a conversation about perimenopause, the midnight hours, and what it means to stop fighting your biology.
The Clock Stopped Following the Rules
For months now, I’ve been waking up somewhere between midnight and 2 a.m.
Not once. Not occasionally. Reliably. Like clockwork — except the clock is one I didn’t set and didn’t choose.
And if I’m being honest, it started to take a toll. Not just the tiredness (though yes, the tiredness), but the story that came with it. The one that said something is wrong. The one that said you should be sleeping right now. The one that compared me to everyone else who seemed to be moving through the night uninterrupted, arriving at morning refreshed and ready.
I wasn’t doing that.
And for a while, I let that gap between what was and what “should be” become its own kind of weight.
What’s Actually Happening in the Body
Let me be clear: I’m not ignoring what’s real here. The midnight-to-2 a.m. window isn’t arbitrary — it’s actually one of the most documented patterns in perimenopause. Shifting hormones, particularly the decline in estrogen and progesterone, directly disrupt the circadian rhythm — the body’s 24-hour internal timer. Progesterone, often called the “calming hormone,” has an anxiety-reducing effect that naturally promotes sleep. As it drops, the nervous system becomes more reactive at night.
Add to that: cortisol — the stress hormone — can begin spiking at times it shouldn’t. Ideally, cortisol is lowest at night and highest in the morning. In perimenopause, that rhythm often inverts or becomes erratic, creating what many women describe as the “wired but tired” feeling at 2 a.m. Melatonin also declines with age and hormonal transition, removing another layer of the body’s natural sleep scaffolding.
Up to 47–56% of perimenopausal women report sleep disturbances. This is not a personal failing. It’s biology in transition. The body isn’t broken. It’s moving.
What’s less talked about is that this isn’t just a hormone problem — emerging science suggests perimenopause may also be a circadian rhythm crisis. Estrogen plays a direct role in regulating circadian gene expression within cells. As estrogen declines, it doesn’t just affect reproduction — it affects the master clock itself.
Two Conversations That Changed How I Hold This
I’m fortunate to have two women in my life who approach this from entirely different angles, and together they’ve given me a framework I didn’t expect to find.
Akary Busto, Emotional Biohacker and Nervous System Strategist, brings the science. Her work centers on a foundational truth that reshapes everything: you don’t have a hormone problem first. You have a nervous system that stopped feeling safe. Hormones don’t operate in isolation — they respond to the nervous system’s state. When stress hormones remain chronically elevated, the body shifts into conservation mode: sleep fragments, mood fluctuates, energy drops, and metabolism becomes less flexible. This isn’t failure. It’s chemistry responding to environment.
Akary’s lens helped me understand that what I was experiencing at 2 a.m. wasn’t simply a hormonal imbalance to be corrected. It was my nervous system narrating a season of life — and that the nervous system needs safety before any other strategy can land.
Sabrina brings a different thread: the WEL-Systems lens and her own Body Work aspect. Her work is rooted in the body as a quantum biological processor — intelligent, self-organizing, and constantly generating information. The WEL-Systems framework, developed by Louise LeBrun, offers the idea of bifurcation — not forcing the system to choose between sleep or no sleep, wakefulness or rest, but allowing the body to find its own landing point. It’s a framework that trusts the body’s knowing over external prescription.
Together, Akary and Sabrina handed me something more useful than a protocol: permission to work with this cycle, not against it.
The Night I Stopped Fighting It
Recently I had a night that shifted something for me.
I fell asleep early. Woke around 10 p.m. Woke again near 1 a.m. And again just after 3 a.m. Each time, instead of the familiar anxiety of why am I awake, I dropped into something different. I asked my body what it was trying to tell me. I wrote down what came. Phrases, images, felt senses — a kind of middle-of-the-night dictation from something deeper than my conscious mind.
What I’ve since learned is that this kind of waking isn’t random. The body cycles through roughly 90-minute sleep stages — light sleep, deep sleep, REM — repeating 4 to 6 times a night. The crest of each cycle is naturally the lightest point of sleep, where consciousness can surface most easily. In perimenopause, with less deep sleep and more time spent in the lighter stages, these crests become doorways.
What if those aren’t interruptions? What if they’re openings?
What I’m Choosing Instead
I haven’t fully committed to the hormone route yet, and honestly, I’m still exploring what that might look like for me. I’ll keep you updated as this journey unfolds.
Part of my reality is that I live in a deeply rural area where healthcare is underserved and specialists are hard to come by. Finding a doctor who will look at the whole picture — nervous system, hormones, lifestyle, emotional health — rather than just one isolated symptom isn’t simple here. So for now, I’m choosing a more holistic path, one that feels congruent with my body and my values, until I land on what truly feels right for me.
What I know is this: right now, adding another protocol to a life that is already full doesn’t add value to my particular equation. That may shift. And this is deeply personal — what works for me may not be what works for you.
What I am doing is building a team — intentionally, and from both directions.
On the hormonal and nervous system side, I’m working with Akary Busto to go deeper into understanding my hormonal landscape. Her framework doesn’t just track hormones in isolation, it reads them as a reflection of nervous system state, metabolic health, and the cumulative weight of how we’ve been living. If you are working with hormone data or considering it, her work can beautifully support that process, helping you use it as a map rather than a mandate — context for understanding your body, not a directive to follow blindly.
On the somatic and body-centered side, I’m working with Sabrina at BeSomaBody, a Somatic Bodywork and Yoga Therapy practitioner with deep roots in trauma-informed care and holistic healing. Her work meets the body where it actually lives — not where we think it should be. Through somatic bodywork, movement, and yoga therapy, she’s helping me access the places where the nervous system has been holding on, the places that no supplement or sleep protocol can reach on their own.
Together, these two threads — the hormonal science and the somatic wisdom — are becoming my compass for this season.
What I’m doing in the meantime is sitting with the information.
I’m inviting bifurcation — the space between sleep and no sleep — and trusting that wherever I land is enough. That my body knows what it needs. That the hours I’m awake are not stolen from rest; they are another form of rest. A processing state. A receiving state.
From a somatic and WEL-Systems perspective, sleep doesn’t live only in the dark and the horizontal. It lives in the body — in specific places and in specific voids. And the question I’ve started sitting with is not how do I fix my sleep but rather:
Where does sleep live in my body… and where does it not?
The Decloak
There are so many rules around sleep. Quality. Duration. Timing. Screens. Temperature. Cortisol windows. And all of it — every bit of it — can become noise that cloaks the system. The very system I have worked hard to hear clearly.
Perimenopause is already asking you to decloak. To shed the identities, the timelines, and the expectations that no longer belong to this body, this season, this version of me. Sleep — or the disruption of it — may simply be another frontier in that unfolding.
You are not sleeping wrong.
I am not sleeping wrong.
You may be sleeping differently than you used to. Differently than the people around you. Differently than the research was designed to measure. And still — your body is doing exactly what it knows to do.
The invitation isn’t to fix the rhythm. It’s to learn to move inside of it.
Further Reading & Resources
Nervous System & Hormonal Health
Uhkare Mind Body Soul — Akary Busto’s home base for emotional biohacking and nervous system strategy
Hormones in Harmony — Akary on Substack
Somatic Bodywork & Yoga Therapy
BeSomaBody — Sabrina Afalava, Somatic Bodywork & Yoga Therapy Practitioner
Body Intelligence & Evolutionary Framework
The WEL-Systems Institute — Founded by Louise LeBrun; a body of knowledge rooted in trusting the body as a quantum biological processor and living from the inside out
Books
Wild Power by Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer — Red School
Moon Time by Lucy H. Pearce — Womancraft Publishing
The Menopause Moment by Kelly Casperson, MD
Tools & Ritual
The Magic of I — The Astrological Almanac & Guidebook
Watch
Wild Woman Wednesday featuring Briana Villegas
Frequently Asked Questions About Perimenopause and Sleep Disruption
Why do I keep waking up at 2AM during perimenopause?
Waking between 12AM–3AM is extremely common during perimenopause. Hormonal shifts—especially declining estrogen and progesterone—disrupt your circadian rhythm. At the same time, cortisol (your stress hormone) can spike at night instead of the morning, pulling you out of sleep and leaving you feeling alert but exhausted.
Is it normal to have insomnia during perimenopause?
Yes. Up to half of women in perimenopause experience sleep disturbances, including difficulty falling asleep, frequent waking, or lighter, more fragmented sleep. This is not a personal failure—it’s a biological transition affecting hormones, brain chemistry, and the nervous system.
Why does my body feel “wired but tired” at night?
This happens when cortisol is elevated at the wrong time. Your body is physically exhausted, but your nervous system is still activated. During perimenopause, this mismatch becomes more common as hormonal shifts disrupt your body’s natural stress and recovery cycles.
How does cortisol affect sleep during perimenopause?
Cortisol should be lowest at night and highest in the morning. During perimenopause, that rhythm can become irregular, causing nighttime wakefulness and early morning waking. High cortisol also reduces deep sleep, making rest feel incomplete even if you were in bed for hours.
Why is my sleep lighter and more easily disrupted?
Estrogen and progesterone both support deep, restorative sleep. As these hormones decline, the body spends more time in lighter sleep stages. This makes you more sensitive to noise, stress, temperature changes, and internal shifts—causing more frequent awakenings.
What is happening to my circadian rhythm during perimenopause?
Estrogen plays a role in regulating your internal body clock. As it declines, circadian rhythms can shift or destabilize. This can lead to earlier waking, difficulty staying asleep, or feeling alert at unusual hours like 1–3AM.
Should I try to force myself back to sleep when I wake up?
Not always. Forcing sleep can increase stress and frustration, which elevates cortisol even more. Many women find relief by shifting their approach—resting, journaling, or simply allowing the body to settle instead of fighting wakefulness.
Is waking in the middle of the night a sign something is wrong?
Not necessarily. In many cases, it’s a sign your body is adjusting to hormonal and nervous system changes. While it can feel disruptive, it doesn’t automatically mean something is broken—it means something is shifting.
Can my nervous system be the reason I can’t sleep?
Yes—and often it’s the root. Hormones don’t operate independently; they respond to your nervous system. If your body is in a prolonged stress state, it will prioritize alertness over deep rest, even when you’re exhausted.
What are natural ways to support sleep during perimenopause?
Support starts with regulation, not force:
- Reduce stimulation before bed (screens, stress, noise)
- Create a calming nighttime routine
- Support blood sugar stability
- Practice breathwork or somatic relaxation
- Allow rest without pressure to “sleep perfectly”
The goal isn’t control—it’s creating conditions where sleep can return.
Why do I feel more emotional or aware at night?
Night waking often occurs during lighter sleep stages where the mind is more accessible. Combined with hormonal shifts, this can create a heightened state of awareness, reflection, or emotional processing.
Could these middle-of-the-night wake-ups actually be useful?
For some women—yes. These moments can become spaces for insight, reflection, or nervous system release. While they may not replace sleep, reframing them as part of a process rather than purely a disruption can reduce resistance and stress.
Do I need hormone therapy to fix my sleep?
Not necessarily. Hormone therapy can help some women, but it’s not the only path. Many find improvement by supporting the nervous system, reducing stress load, and working with their body’s rhythms first. The right approach is personal and may evolve over time.
How long do perimenopause sleep issues last?
It varies. Sleep disruption can come and go throughout perimenopause, which can last several years. The intensity often fluctuates depending on stress, lifestyle, and overall nervous system health.
What is the biggest shift I need to make with sleep during perimenopause?
Stop trying to force your body to behave like it used to.
Perimenopause is a transition—not a malfunction.
The more you shift from:
👉 control → curiosity
👉 resistance → regulation
The more your body can begin to stabilize in its new rhythm.